A Journey Begins ... anew

Hi!

I don't know who will read this, or who might care, but I wanted to record the journey I seem to be beginning. I know it will sound funny, but the Voice told me to do it.

First, it seems like some background would be appropriate.

I am about half ways through my life, so one might call this my first true mid-life crisis.

I have a pretty good job, a nice house, a great wife, and two great German Shepherd doggies.

I live in the great Pacific Northwest, where I was born and went to College after 4 years in the Navy.

I did okay in high school, at least in Math and Music (I played the flute). I hated how boring school was, so I was not interested in College. That is, until I spent four years in the Navy and discovered how low the pay is for non-skilled labor. I worked as an Electronics Technician, so I decided to go to College to get an EE degree, which I did.

Most of my life I've been looking for something, though not sure what it was. In high school, I once heard how psychedelics expanded the mind, so I wanted to try them. Sure enough it opened my mind, but it also had some negative side effects (duh!). I found psychedelics to be self-regulating: either I killed myself or I stopped doing it. So I stopped (many years ago now).

In the Navy I met some great friends that helped me look for that something ... I started reading metaphysical books. I read many books, and bought many more, but nothing seemed to answer all my questions. None of them made me believe them.

Some of my friends, even from the earliest days, seemed to find answers, but they were always too easy-sounding to me, particularly when they involved well-established religious institutions.

Segue from the earlier part of my life to the middle part ... I grew up and got married a second time -- this one for good -- and found a career wrangling software. I began to make more and more money, so that I seem to have enough to live my life, but I certainly never struck it rich. My wife and I moved around the country chasing the right job, but it got harder and harder each time we moved to feel at home and make new friends. We started in the Northwest, then a week after getting married we moved to New Jersey, for gosh shakes! Who woulda thunk it!

From NJ, we knew we had to find something better, so I took a job in Research Triangle Park in North Carolina. NC is nice if humid (and lots of bugs), but it wasn't home. So after a few years I got a chance to move to Colorado and I jumped on it. We loved Colorado, made many friends (it took years, but we did it), and I took up Mountain Biking, which I still love dearly. Then everything changed.

First, right around 9/11 (*the* 9/11), my mother died. It was kind of expected, but it was still very hard. (She died of Cancer.) One of my favorite dogs of all time, Captain, died about the same time of Cancer. Then, about a year or two later, I had a serious crash in my Land Rover as a friend and I drove home from Moab to the Denver area. We could have both died (but we were fine, unlike the car). This series of events, together with my wholly unsatisfying job, made me start to question, again, why I was here and what I was doing. Did anything matter? If so, what? Not having children meant that we could not loose ourselves in making their lives better, so I felt adrift. Classic mid-life crisis, I guess.

The final blow to my imaginary feeling of happiness came when we finally got the chance to move back to Oregon. The job turned out to suck, it rained for 40 days in a row (and yes, the nights as well), and I did not get along with my family, which was the main reason for returning. I was very very depressed.

That kind of brings us to now, and here I am!

My wife decided to start bringing the piles of book boxes out of the garage, so that we might get at least one car in there this winter. Lo and behold, all of my meta-physical books are in piles in the living room, and I saw "Journey Without Distance".

And that's where I'll continue next time ...